Growing Old Ain’t For Sissies

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

Your skin may purge a bit after your treatment.

That’s what the cute little aesthetician with the perfect skin said to me after my sandblasting treatment. She lied.

I didn’t “purge a bit”, I’m having an all out 14-year-old identity crisis. Except I don’t remember having zits and hot flashes when I was 14… Why didn’t she just tell me the truth? This is what that perky little flawless skin know-it-all meant to say:

“Being that you were cursed with horrible acne-prone skin, you’re going to visit zit city in a few days – in fact, the more I analyze your extremely poor skin tone and horrendous pores, you most likely won’t be visiting zit city, but you will be moving there and taking up permanent residency. You’ve got a lot of crap hidden under layers of sun damage and years of cheap drugstore makeup. And really horrible genes. You’re really screwed. You should consider hiding out for the next month.”

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