Don't Come Knockin' On My Door!

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

I have something disgusting to report to you today. Are you ready??? It’s quite gross.

You know how some things in life you’re better off never knowing? Like what happens to raw sewage?

Well, this is one of those things that I wish I never knew. Most of y’all know about our precious little cockatiel that you can read about here. I sadly can no longer use her name in any of my posts, so for this reason I will now refer to her as L. Now let me tell you why I can no longer use her name - and the reason is exceptionally disturbing.

There apparently is a teenage star of ill repute that also goes by the same name. That’s right, she’s a teenage p *r n star named Little L *p e!

How did I discover this? Occasionally I like to go into statcounter to take a look at activity on my blog and see what kind of searches are being done to find Lavender Chick. You know – I have an inquiring mind. I have been noticing a plethora of google searches for Little L*p e. Out of shear curiosity (I get hit with that a lot), I decided to google the same thing to see why so many are searching this. At first I was so proud that so many people want to read about my little L! So I googled it….

WARNING!!! Do not google Little Lu_e! Please do not... If you do, the feds will bug your home and possibly arrest your husband. I repeat: DO NOT GOOGLE MY BIRD'S NAME!

I only wish I had had this same warning. When I was finally able to pick myself up off the floor after being entirely grossed out and disturbed, I went and gave my little L a great big hug and told her that I would always protect her and love her and never allow anything like this to become of her.

And now I’m worried that since all this Little L u* e activity has been linked back to me, Dateline NBC “Catch a Predator” is going to show up out here thinking that Hummingbird Farms is some kind of chicken ranch or something, if you know what I mean.

Hey Dateline – no chickens, just hummingbirds and lavender!

You know what’s worse? Someone from Dubai got on my blog after doing a search for Little L_ _e. My inquiring mind again got to thinking (danger!) and then I recalled that someone that used to live on a ranch in California, who happened to have a ferris wheel in his front yard, and who also recorded a whole lot of music, has moved to Dubai due to a little trouble he got into over here for – well, you know….


Ponder …..

So this is my message to anyone on my blog that finds me by searching Little L_ _ e:

GO AWAY! This is a G rated blog right here! SHOO, SHOO, GET OUT OF HERE!!! YOU DIRTY ROTTEN NASTY THING, GO AWAY!!! I’m calling Dateline on you!!

And guess what I do to people like you on my blog, even if you are the king of pop?

Well, first I channel my hero…. She always tells me what to do! And this is the advice she’s given me.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

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